Ten Things I have learned thus far from this pregnancy:

1.  The incubation period for a human is 9 months
2.  Humans give live births
3. You can no longer pass out cigars and smoke them in the waiting room in congratulations once the child has been birthed
4.  The father is now expected to be in the room whilst the woman births the child (most likely the downfall for # 3).
5.  The woman gains more than simply the weight of the child during pregnancy (!)
6.  A trimester consists of 3 mesters
7.  Smoking whilst pregnant is not advised as this pre-disposes the baby to your brand of cigarette and that’s not fair to the baby because it should be entitled to make it’s own choice.
8.  Ingesting caffeine whilst pregnant gives the baby ADHD
9.  Drinking alcohol whilst pregnant is discouraged because drinking can lead to having a good time and one must be prepared to not have fun once the baby arrives.
10.  During mealtime when her feet are hot, you can finally say your woman is barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen without upsetting the feminists.


6 Responses to Ten Things I have learned thus far from this pregnancy:

  1. You forgot how 3.5 hours of pushing will cause hemorrhoids. CAN’T forget that one.

  2. Meredith says:

    I learned that pregnancy can make any food give you the absolute worst heartburn, even soda crackers. And everyone told me that meant Little Elvis would have a head full of hair. It didn’t.
    But on a much more positive note, you do get lots of special treatment most of the time. At work, whenever anyone had extra doughnuts or sweets (pretty much all the time) I got first dibs. And lots of people went out of their way to hold doors or pull out chairs. So there’s lots of good stuff in there too.

  3. Swistle says:

    Ha ha ha! My favorite is 7, but I’m also partial to 6.

  4. thelittlebean says:

    as you can tell now, i married The Mr. for funny!
    but he has some really good points………………

    and after watching the little bean move— #8 has some credibility. i’ll be a little scared when i start to FEEL it!

  5. Lainey-Paney says:

    …and you will soon learn that toward the end—your ribs will become monkey bars & your bladder a trampoline for the little bean (who won’t be so little anymore…)

  6. aunt meggieweggie says:

    never had a hemaroid with none of mine and I pushed for 8 hours with 2 you will be fine love ya

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