Eight Things I’ve Learned One Should Not Say to a Pregnant Woman

  1. Jesus, what’s growing in there, a Volkswagen?
  2. All I’m saying is that if I were the one that was pregnant, I wouldn’t be that emotional.
  3. Come on, giving birth can’t be that painful.
  4. What do you mean you didn’t feel like vacuuming the house today?
  5. Sonuvabitch, did you eat the whole thing?
  6. You’re right, you probably do weigh more than me.
  7. Since you’ll be off for a few weeks after you have the baby, do you think you’ll be able to finally clean out the garage?
  8. I’ve got to go to Europe and Australia for a few weeks for work; too bad you’re pregnant otherwise you could come.

3 Responses to Eight Things I’ve Learned One Should Not Say to a Pregnant Woman

  1. thelittlebean says:

    well well, we will remedy #8, i hope! there are several on my side for aussie-town.
    battle’s not quite done yet.

    and for the record, y’all—— i don’t weigh more than him….. YET.

    i fear that day. & it’ll come.

  2. I loathed the words “oh my god!” when I answered the question of when I was due. Niiiiccccceeee. Could I help it that the kid was so big?

  3. Meredith says:

    Bob is a fairly thin man, so I knew that I would end up weighing more than him at the end, and I did. I was so upset by that and refused to discuss my weight after I was in my 8th month.
    I didn’t really pop out until about 6 or 7 months I think. One day I went to work and all my co-workers said, “Oh my God, you grew overnight!” I didn’t like that so much.
    Another crazy thing one of my co-workers said, “Does your husband know?” I guess she thought I just up and decided to get pregnant on my own, without discussing it with Bob.

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