Third Trimester Woahs

As we enter the third mester, here are a few observations and enlightenments:

  • I am able to park the car, get into a restaurant, order, eat, and leave all before she has shut the passenger door of the car.  I tend to think it’s more me becoming the Flash than she slowing down.
  • That room upstairs that nobody ever went in has been transformed.  What previously could have been housing a Guatemalan family of 12 without my knowledge is now pimped out big ole baby style.  Man I hope that kid stays under 5 forever, otherwise if any of his/her friends see all of those pastel colors, it’s beat-down city.
  • I have discovered “huge” is not the appropriate word to describe a pregnant belly. 
  • Likewise, “waddle”, and any form of the verb is inappropriate to describe the process of her walking.
  • Adjunct to the point above, under no circumstances is it acceptable to sing “Here We Go A-Waddling” from Claymation Christmas, even though it’s the middle of April and it’s entirely coincidental that you start singing when she gets up to go into the kitchen.  Sometimes songs just pop into your head for no apparent reasons.
  • For The Office fans: You don’t ask her if she can still fit in a rowboat.

4 Responses to Third Trimester Woahs

  1. Meredith says:

    I’ll give you a tip for something not to say after the baby is born. When people tell your wife how great she looks, and that she’s lost lots of the baby weight, do not…. I repeat do not say, “I didn’t have any problem dropping my baby weight! ha ha.” My husband did this repeatedly and my glares made no impact.

  2. Funky Boss says:

    Oh man, that is too good not to use.

    Perhaps I can pass the baby to my wife and whilst saying “Here’s how I got rid of my baby weight.”

  3. thelittlebean says:

    HA!!!! yeah, Mr. you do that.

  4. Meredith says:

    I didn’t mean to give you any ideas!

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